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Young women say they want to make an impact

One of my jobs is that I am a professor at a college. Recently, I decided to try something new in a freshman class I taught. I asked each student to come by during office hours once during the semester. my goal was to help them out in any way I could during a five minute conversation.

The conversations turned out to be harrowing because of the trainwreck that is most of these peoples' lives. By and large 18-20 year olds today are ships with no rudder, no bearing, and no sails. Of course, there are exceptions, but I am generalizing here. I should not have been surprised, I suppose. I've employed dozens of people of those currently 18-26 or so, and I could not have a lower opinion of these people. With very few exceptions, these people are ill equipped for life in ways that probably are beyond fixing. If you are a parent to children in this age group, you should really feel bad about yourself. You have succeeded in raising the most clueless, most entitled, most medicated, least prepared generation known to history.

There simply isn't much to say about men in this age group. They have clearly never done anything challenging. All they've ever done is go to public school, play video games, and watch pornography. They have no plans for the future, no ambition, and no capability or desire to contend with anything challenging. They expect that the world will give them everything they need, and they will probably never move out of their mom's basement. There were several meetings that were bright spots in the darkness. While it seemed that almost none of these young men had ever talked with someone who had something worth saying, some responded very well to the invitation to stand up and do something with their lives.

The women are different. They all say they want to make an impact. They all want to change the world. I believed them, and that gave me hope. When I asked how they are going to do that, my hope was dampened. They were going to do what every young women does: travel the world, sleep with a dozen young men, get tattoos and a nose ring, gain some weight, die their hair blue and pink and gray, get a career, and stay single until they are over 30, at which point they will settle with the first guy they can find that makes six figures. Of course, not one of them said that, exactly. But all of them were somewhere on that list, and none of them gave me the impression that they had plans to derail from the track.

It is sad to me that young women all have this incredible drive to make an impact, yet in the vacuum of good advice from older ladies, the way they think they will fulfill this urge is to work and travel and have fun. It will not fill the void.

Why the older ladies who know this do not tell them this is beyond me, but I have a suspicion it is because they would rather see the next generation crash and burn than admit the mistakes they have made, and that is unfortunate if true.

These young ladies, just like those who came before them who listened to the siren song of hedonism, will be bitterly disappointed to realize that none of this things will fill the emptiness inside of them. One day they may realize that family life is the only way to get what they seek, and they will realize that they squandered their best chances of the best outcomes with that by frittering away their best years on things of no worth.

Marriage and motherhood is the greatest thing they can do not because of some romantic idea about marriage and children, but because people are, in general, so selfish that locking oneself into something where you actually have to think about another person's welfare is the situation most likely to yield improvement. There is also a strong biological component to this: women experience a chemically-driven bond with their baby through birth and breastfeeding for which there is no equal outside of this experience. Many women postpone marriage and children because they feel they are too young and they must first "find out who they are," but few today are taught by their matriarchs that they will never become who they are meant to be until they have children. There are biochemical processes in childbearing, birth, and breastfeeding that are part of the developmental process for women. Most people think of having kids as something you don't do until you are "fully adulting," which apparently means around 34, but keeps going up. I would contend that a woman isn't really mature until after she has kids, and that it as much of her developmental process--if not more--as getting a high school diploma, and should happen around the same time.

Women are designed to have children early. The longer they wait, the less benefit they will receive, the less benefit they will give to their husband and kids, and the less qualified they will be for a good husband.

Women are meant to start having kids before they establish lifelong patterns of feeling and behavior, which are much harder to change once set. Almost all young women are naturals with kids, but almost no middle aged women who didn't have kids young are. Modern mothers are miserable with their kids because they would rather be instagramming or traveling the world or off with their girlfriends or off with some guy they aren't married to. I once had two pigs who I made the mistake of feeding chef boyardee to (we were rotating out our food storage). Once they. had chef boyardee, they would not eat the barley we had planned to feed them. The barley was much better for them, but they had a taste of the cheap but good tasting stuff, and from that point it was impossible to get them to eat what was best for them.

It's ironic that young women seem to universally think that traveling will somehow help them make this impact they seek. They want to tour what civilization has created in the very act of shirking the greatest contribute to it they could make, lauding it while arguably making an effective attempt at tearing it down.